In the Wake of Evil

After this most recent massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT, comments about gun control were first on the scene, often in the same breath as "how horrifying".  I think we all know that guns are dangerous and that it's unwise to let just anyone have a gun.  However, people who go on shooting rampages are not your average law abiding citizens.  We are held accountable by law only after we do something wrong.  In this case, the effects are devastating and permanent.  So much so, that we instinctively look for ways they could have been prevented.

Clearly, those who call for tighter gun control want to save people.  However, we all do, even those who fight gun control.  Glenn Reynolds from Instapundit.com had an article in USA Today about gun-free zones and the danger they pose.  Ace of Spades had a post commenting on this article titled "Gun-Free Zones Don't Deter Killers Determined to Bring Their Guns to Kill People" on 12/14/12 @ 8:09 PM.  There is a viral comment credited to Morgan Freeman.  And Darrell Scott's 1999 statement after Columbine resurfaced as well.


I'm not prepared to discuss all the ramifications of gun control or school prayer, nor do I want to moderate such heated discussion on this forum.  However, tragic events such as the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School cause national grieving.  In their wake, we desire (individually and as a society) to examine what went wrong and how it could have been avoided.  I believe this is an honorable endeavor.  We regret what happened, we value human life, and we want better for ourselves and our children and our society.  Another aspect is that this pursuit to "fix" problems help us to process such devastating events as a society.  At the very least, they allow us, in the wake of despair and demise, to move forward with our personal lives and to hope that we do better as a society in the future.

I remember hearing Darrell Scott's statement back in 1999.  That was also a time of national grieving.  And for many it was the beginning of repeated massacres widely broadcasted on television.

I've seen many respond saying that we cannot promote prayer in school because of separation of church & state.  This is my response. The idea is for individuals to pray - we don't have to answer the questions about which God or who is God (except in our own personal search).  Allowing and even encouraging spirituality in people allows respect of natural law and a higher power above our own selfish hearts, which so often lead us to many disheartening situations.  And separation of church and state means that the church cannot tell the government how it should be run AND the government shouldn't tell churches how to run either.  This separation should support respect and the search for love that sacrifices everything for humanity.  And yet we, our society as a whole, often uses separation of church and state to cause more conflict and spread more discord.  At least, that's how I understand it now...but I'm still seeking.

Keep searching,
GT <><

Parenting an Adult Child

It’s easy as a mom to get lost in the mundane, repetitive, ins and outs of cleaning the house as it is simultaneously messed up again, washing dishes when dinner is finally cooking only to realize more dishes come right after dinner, and preparing lunches/laundry/love for the next day.  I will not say I savor any of the small, present frustrations, but I do realize that they are just that – small and temporary.

The first moment I held my eldest son, I remember feeling overwhelming love...the very second moment, however, I caught a tear on my cheek as I thought "He's going to grow hair on his face one day".  To me, that moment was anticipating all the worries and concerns my child would one day face, and also my own heartache that I realized would inevitably follow.  Susan Engel, a professor at my alma mater, wrote this article for the NYTimes on just such concerns about parenting an adult child.

Fortunately for me, that’s still a few years down the road.  I’m not any more excited about the day to day dole drums and dramas of the young years.  But I will practice patience, perseverance, and polite listening with all my might because bigger projects requiring these tools are coming our way, faster than I care to admit.

Thankful for the small stuff (and the smallest among us),

GT <><

Long Return Home

It's time to come back to the blog.

December fast approaches, and I'm feeling reflective a little bit early this year.  Maybe it’s because this year was so full.  There were opportunities for learning at a new job, and the end of said job.  A return to home and opportunities for reviving neglected responsibilities at home.  Baby #4 came in October and my 30^th birthday looms near the end of the year, at once granting feelings of youth and age, beginnings and endings to different chapters in our lives.  We started escrow on a new house last week, investing in a newly imagined future, then realizing it means leaving our current home and neighbors and a little piece of our hearts behind.  The joys, blessings, and reasons to be grateful out shine the sorrows, sufferings, and sighs that blur into the background, emphasizing the contrast, adding to our appreciation, and increasing our hope.

With all this going on, I couldn’t wait until New Year’s.  I'm getting a jump start on 2013 with some Thanksgiving resolutions.

1)      Eat with intention.  I hate to admit it, but gluttony is one of my favorite sins.  Blessed with abundance, our society seems to excuse this with ease.  The holidays provide especially strong temptations, whether due to the excess of celebration, the power of nostalgia, or simply the encouragement of indulgence for indulgence sake.  It reminds me how truly lucky we are to have so much and how many people the world over are without.  I’m simultaneously saddened by our waste in such extravagance and how I personally overindulge.  It’s my earnest goal to indulge less this year.  It’s not solving world hunger, but I’ll be aware and work towards more temperance in my little world.

2)     Lose weight, exercise, get in shape.  This is the double whamming following #1.  At this point in my life, I need to start from scratch.  I want to walk 4 days a week.  If I can’t for whatever reason, I won’t let it derail me, and I’ll make it a priority again the next day.  Walking, working up to running, graduating to other activities is the goal.  This will take many baby steps.  Maybe next year I can set a more concrete goal of running a 5K, but I’m not there yet. And I’m okay with that.

3)     Improve personal grooming habits.  No more nail biting, knuckle cracking or other various impolite activities.  It’s not just impolite, it’s unsanitary (I can hear my mother’s voice).  This is on my list every year.  What is so challenging for me, I think, is that I can be good all week long, and then in two minutes I do so much damage that it feels like negative progress.  And yet, I still believe it’s a worthwhile pursuit, even if I continue to fail.  I think each year I actually want to succeed a little bit more than the year before.  And one year, I will.

4)     Make time for chores each day.  This is a goal to benefit the other people in my life.  I know that I can’t clean everything every day and still have the quality time with everyone that is most important to us.  The idea is to have a more organized home.  If everything has a place, it's easier to clean a little bit every day and to access the things we need.  Example numero uno: The kids should know where to put the toys away, and we should require them to do so each day.  I think this teaches them discipline that will serve them throughout life.  Also, our house will be less like a natural disaster and more like a home.

With a move on the horizon, this year organization is key.  I want to spend time each day clearing clutter, organizing what we need to keep, donating useful things that are no longer useful to us, and tossing the rest. If I do this every day, I think the move will be less intimidating and might actually be enjoyable.  Plus, I’ll have systems in place that could translate to the new house.  The payoff here could be huge!

When I was working, it was easy to put off chores for the more important things in life – like quality time with my husband and children.  Now that I’m home, I know that much of my free time goes to Facebook, email, and more preferable (read: more fun!) projects.  I won’t deprive myself of these things entirely, but chores will come first.  I hope that a little bit each day will make a big difference.

5)     Blog every day.  This won’t translate to a post a day.  But I want some practice writing everyday – for the good of my own soul.  Maybe one day it’ll translate into something good for our bank account too.  That is not the goal this year, but if I want to attain that goal some day, I have to start with a little bit each day.

This is mostly a post about me, and I apologize for how "me" orientated it is.  Don’t worry, if you are still reading this far, this won't be par for the course.  Please feel free to share in the comments your own New Year's Resolutions.

I wish you perseverance and courage for your own goals, and excitement and joy in the unknowns ahead.  And remember it's about the journey, not the destination.  Here’s to a brand new year,

GT <><